Aunt Carol

The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment: Have your parents tell you a story with a moral at the end.

The next day the kids came back and one by one began to tell their stories.

"Johnny, do you have a story to share?"

"Yes ma'am. My daddy told a story about my Aunt Carol. She was a pilot in
Desert Storm and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy
territory and all she had was a small bottle of whiskey, a pistol and a survival
knife.

She drank the whiskey on the way down so it wouldn't break and she landed right in the middle of twenty enemy troops.

She shot fifteen of them with the gun until she ran out of bullets,
killed four more with the knife, till the blade broke, and then she killed the
last Iraqi with her bare hands."

"Good Heavens" said the horrified teacher. "What kind of moral did your
daddy tell you from this horrible story?"

"Stay the fuck away from Aunt Carol when she's drinking."